was admitted into the A&E yesterday...chief complain? i had a stomach ache LOL!! amazing how stomach aches can cause such turns of event...well in my life nothing ever seems tiwsted and complex anyways. anyways the explaination was pretty simple yet there is no exact answers to it. Lets see....had the stomach ache which was most probably due to drinking water which was colonized by bacteria and wat not from a new water tower i bought(those which had like a filter made up from stones and minerals and stuff?)...it might even be the silica from the stones which cause the poisoning?? no idea..anyways, so i went on to take medications for stomach pain and diarrhea. However those were taken after i took some chinese stomach meds(po chek yuien).to top it off, i took charcoal after tat.....and tat when everything became like a stack of dominos; everything fell apart. I woke up and was heading to the toilet to pee. I remembered feeling lightheaded like for 2 secs & a slight off balance. Next thing, i was on the floor of the toilet floor not even knowing i fell, as in i had not recollection of how i ended up there!! mum was knocking asking what happened, and i couldnt response as i felt very exhausted and had no voice to speak.head was still light and dazed.didnt saw the tunnel of light tho, so i knew i had to sit up and put my head between my knees to make sure the blood flowed back there. And then i started sweating perfusely...like after playing ball tat kinda wetness. remain calm, once i felt better i rushed to htj(hospital tunku jaafar) to the A&E department. The MA did an ECG and from tat he came out with transient right bundle block +.+ luckily his it was HIS provisional diagnosis. the final diagnosis from the doctors were just nothing found on the ECG and i was just prescribed stomach meds with ors.....been bedridden for 2 day adi with not much options for nutrition.....hope 2 recover asap >.<

A particular event happened few days ago. It made me realized why you were the one back then, even though there were other choices, you were that special 1. And as i think about it, i feel fortunate at times that I've tasted such experience when I am with you. Although now its all looking like a plane crash site now, despite it all, I guess you were worth it. I have fallen and though i know i need to keep my chin up high and hike back up, i feel fatigued. But theres nothing else i can do or say...i think....dunno how would i be able to close this chapter; not sure if this is the time to do so or whether i should let the chapter slowly close itself. But what i do know, is that if it were ever to close, it would have been closed unwillingly. If you do read this, i just want you to be happy. And its the least i can do now.

I'll pay any price to be liberated or be given a path from this torture...it sucks being in the middle when you're not here, not there and have to remain where you are cuz u dun wanna fall back nor do you wanna move forward.

-heal my heart,

  heal my brain,

  boy, how i wish you could fell my pain.-

Tear drops on my guitar playing this

Oh oh oh, oh oh oh... 
Oh oh oh... 

She's starin' at me, 
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Mmmmm
Nobody's talkin', 
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
Ohhh... 
And now is I'm yellin' over her, 
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening, 
(And what's even worse).
That we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for... 

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby... 

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain... 
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no... 

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you've already known).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

Whoaaaaaaaaa... 
[What happened to workin' it out].
We've falled into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.

So what the hell do we do now... 
It's all for... 

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby... 

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain... 
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no... 

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect, 
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain... 
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you), 
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

Medical complications seems much more easier now.....

'i'm the one who wants you more than anything
you don't feel the same way; you made it clear to me
but i'll stand my ground and maybe
you'll hear what i've been sayin
after all i've said and all i've done'

                                                                                                                                               the descendents

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