I have a new craze now. Its about DOTS & COMAs. Yes! and i mean it as in these ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

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This new symbols are those where i can keep my thoughts original n true. They are indeed the link between those who do care and are willing to find out more. The bridge between patience and the inner mind. For they who seek, will find. Its the sanctuary, the nirvana, the Moksah, heaven for the beholder of the other side.

The Meaning

To love is to share life together
to build special plans just for two
to work side by side
and then smile with pride
as one by one, dreams all come true.

To love is to help and encourage
with smiles and sincere words of praise
to take time to share
to listen and care
in tender, affectionate ways.

To love is to have someone special
one who you can always depend
to be there through the years
sharing laughter and tears
as a partner, a lover, a friend.

To love is to make special memories
of moments you love to recall
of all the good things
that sharing life brings
love is the greatest of all.

I've learned the full meaning
of sharing and caring
and having my dreams all come true;
I've learned the full meaning
of being in love
by being and loving with you.

- Kellie Spehn -

this blog will be underconstruction........new facelift and features will be up soon.......finals in 2 week, so much more to blog then.......but for now its nerd mode for the next 14 days

7 days of lessons

No doubt that the end of EOS brought me great relieve. All the tension was swept away the very moment I knew that its over for the time being. The tense pre-eos me is really something I'd wanna go thru anymore but I guess no point fretting bout it? The results are final after all.......

DAY 1----- Had lunch at Along's. Best laksa around OUG apparently? Though my stomach was actually filled up with all the acids inside due to over stress manipulation, the sourness of the laksa didnt really matter no more. Got the GI upset very much later though. Played some ball after that. Its becoming like ritual that after exams, I tend to just grab a ball and go shoot some hoops. Was nice playing after sometime. Celebrated the night at Luna Bar:) Wasnt much of a celebration 4 me though. Why? Ordered some concoction which was made up of 3 distinct liquor glasses ; martini,shot and wine. There was like 4 steps to actually drink it -.-

poolside view

1. The Sambuca in a wine glass is flamed. Wait for approximately 30 secs.
2. Next pour the flamed liquor in to the midori lemon filled martini glass.
3. Upon pouring, use a straw to start sucking the concoction up.
4. When the mixture is about to finish, add in the last shot of cointreau.
5. Watch 30 bux fly away in 5 sec......

wheres my glass? not there.......finished even b4 they all started...

So while everyone was sipping and enjoying the drinks which was very much bigger and tasteful than mine, I was starting to get high(lack of sleep from exams + alcohol shots) and didnt really cared much except for lying down on the nice comfy couches. Blowed another 30 bux on some small pizza........After sending my frens back home went to Tanjung for a bite with doggy:P And if memory serves right, think I saw russia vs spain tat day.......Back home at 5.

view from the rooftop

DAY 2----- Woke up at 830. Adventure club organized a paintball session that friday. Arrived at Chui Munn's just to find her still pigging. And to add a little more twist to the senario as god really likes playing with my sad life, her phone wasnt in her room and neither me nor li yen had her house number. But luckily we were able to get it somehow. Late for about 15 minutes?

Played paintball at 1030. Nothing much, usual routines except for the fact that we had like 24 ppl on 1 field. I have never played paintball in such a huge scale b4. It really felt just like Iraq. You're afraid of getting shot at and if I were to just merely stand up, my large surface area would just made me target practice. Not to mention that there was only 4 bunkers which was tall enough to hide my head when I'm crouching:P We played capture the flag all the way. I kinda forgot bout the flag at 1 stage. Was trying to shoot the enemy that was shooting vigorously at my bunker. We were suppose to knock down 2 bottles to the right before we can proceed to capturing the flag. Somehow our bottles never hit the sack despite getting shot a few times by many of the bottle-shooters division. The other team won thanx to DY who was literally a cockroach. Can seem to gun him down even though every1 aimed at him. All in all got shot at the back of my shoulder(scapula) and multiple hits on my chest from standing up and rushing to the bunker. Won once lost twice.

The finals is here but no its not EOS( shows how much u've been paying attention). EURO FINALS! Not much fan of football but then when it comes to events like this I'd just shout and cheer with the rest of the guys when he(from any team) misses a shot on goal. Back at home at 5 again. At this point I was awake for more then 24 hrs. WOOHOOO

DAY 3----- sleep......nothing much. Went back to seremban to celebrate my grandma's bday. Pics are in the cam. Dun have the program installed into my laptop so will be posting the aftermath of the party instead....the massive roti tissue:P

what will I do without mamak? This roti tissue is bout 1 m long as you can see. It not like any normal roti tissue. This 1 somehow has condense milk on it and is somewat coated with caramel.

DAY 4-----sleep........

DAY 5----- Went for movie marathon. Watched wanted and kungfu panda. The verdict? Both were nice shows. But i'm not the type that dig shows with too much physics defying moves. Still think that the apple drops down due to gravity:) and that heart beat over 400x/ minute is something we call tachycardia which always leads to death:) not shooting of the wings of a fly:P Panda could afford all those whacky and irrelevant scenes cuz its animated. Gosh we all know that anything can happen in the animated world rite?? Though having a goose as ur dad while ur a panda......still cant over look that. Anyways it turned out to be a great day:)

Then went to play some ball with the guys back at court subang. Everything was fun till a turn of events occured.

My sis got a call from 1 of her fren(whos brother is one of my good frens) at about 1030. At that time it was only a news which had no lead to what has actually happened. Then at 12am, all doubts and hearsays were cleared.

DAY 6----- It was confirmed that my frens dad had passed away insidiously due to heat problems. It was something unforeseen for everybody. There were no symptoms nor signs that his dad was suffering from a heart disease. In the text books I guess we med students call this sudden cardiac death. Though I'm uncertain of the real cause as I didnt read the autopsy report. With little to do, me and wej was only able to spread the news to the rest of the guys and be there for him and his family at their times of grief till the funeral procession which is about 5 hrs from now.

DAY 7----- Was wondering the night b4 whether I should have canceled my sunway lagoon trip on wednesday as at that moment I just dont think that I should be enjoying myself. But in the end the trip was canceled last minute which was quite a god send. It was mum's bday. So basically used the whole day trying to figure out what would be a decent gift for her 54th birthday with my sis. Mum didnt want a cake as she didnt wanna celebrate when there is people mourning(yes my family is quite close to the family of the deceased)

Went to visit my fren and his family at night. Talked bout the past when we were back in primary and secondary school. All the stupidest things we ever did, all the nice fond memories we shared. I'm quite happy to see him laughing at times again. Although I can see that deep down inside he was still quite sad but then he has somehow accepted it. I'm not trying to make him not feel sad but just trying to convey the message that life goes on. Its irresponsible at times to do so. I afterall have never gone thru such a situation but I think it was something right to do nonetheless.

DAY 8----- Went out for a movie with wej and chee kit. Yes, he came back:) The movie line was kinda congested. It was basically divided into 2 sides, blockbuster n non- blockbuster. The blockbuster line was almost like JCO's in pyramid. We kinda gave up hope on watching Hancock at that moment cuz by the time we reached the counter Hancock would have been sold out. And you would have wasted 30 minutes. So we kinda thought that another movie will do. So there I was walking in the empty non-blockbuster line. Took me like a 1 minute wait. And at the counter I kinda thought I'd give it a try, "Can i get the Hancock tickets here?" We ended up seeing,well, Hancock:)

Now this is more like my kinda movie. It has its sense of mystery and that twist in plot which I just fail to detect(ok I did somehow knew there was a relationship between will smith and the heroine). Its 1 of those movies which gets you thinking that the main theme of the movie is bout the stuff that the main actor is related to(superhero in this case) and stuff but turns out very differently towards the climax. Wont spoil the story you you readers if you havent watch it yet but I'd just wanna say that I'd do the same thing John Hancock would have done. Feels like s reflection at times:P

Then visited my fren again till 1. Went to grab a bite at the mamak and here I am now blogging. Tomorrow is the funeral and it just might be mine too depending on my results.........god I hope everything goes well... >.<

Life so far.....

intermedical games : basketball

lunch time

the confidence showed here meant that we were quite sure we secured gold. ahuh.

carnation=admiration , lilies=pure and unsullied. enuf said

enlightenment

old man's game. but i like it :P

mirror image of the initial D poster no? :p

fun times

terrorist took over IMU's premises

matt wertz -- 5:19

" i'd be lying through my teeth if i told you....
that i'm ok
july came i thought i had it all together till you said,
i need some space.
truth be told its so hard to wait

one eye on the clock ,
and one on the phone .
its 5:19 ,
i'm feeling alone.
if i could talk to you.
i'd want you to know,
i'm holding loose
but aint letting go...."

david cook -- always be my baby

" we were as one babe,
for a moment in time.
and it seemed everlasting,
that you would always be mine.
now you want to be free,
so I'm letting you fly.
cause i know in my heart babe,
our love will never die, no

i ain't gonna cry, no
nor would i beg you to stay.
if you're determined to leave girl,
i will not stand in your way.
but then inevitably you'll be back again,
cause ya know in your heart babe,
our love will never end, no "

At this very moment....

Is it wrong to have wat u want at times? Y does this life of mine turn out to be so complicated when the complications are in the end things of trivial matter? Nothing has been going towards my favor. Is it so hard to just get some freedom? Coming back at 4 is late i know but that is not the issue here is it? Y must u think tat i'm just using this house as a hotel? How often do i even hang out wit frens anymore? I dun come back late from uni playing games and wasting time. I'm actually STUDYING for God's sake......All i wan is to live my life my way. Y must you conquer every aspect of me? I've gave you almost everything i had. I let you decide my future profession, endure every single sec doing hard and complex mathematical problem. You said dun go out.I never fought back. I let you control the whole of me just to make you comfortable so y is it tat i cant get wat i want? Y must u associate things which are not even linked with the prob? Is this your method of teaching? Cuz really i find it flawed to be autocratic. I tried to compromise. But you just dont want to. I gave all i have. But you just cant see me as someone who means no harm and that i would never betray you. I gave everything i can to make you comfortable but at times it really seems as tho things are just goin 1 way. You dont c it the way i do. And it saddens me cuz you were the one who mentioned tat its the family which comes 1st. Somehow i just dun feel like i'm a part of it being treated this way. I did everything to earn your trust but you just cant see me for who i am. You dun respect me for who i am. And i no matter wat know that my role is not to question this. To be filial. In the end, you win the game but you won it becuz you had the advantage and tat i was just soft and understanding. You've robbed me of my dreams and passions. Nothing has changed and it will not unless you wanna gimme a chance.

I'm rarely like this. I recover almost instantly and come back to rationality. But right now, just right now.......I feel like a piece of glass falling at terminal velocity towards the concrete ground. In fact i;m just a few miliseconds away from the ground. I'm currently that fragile. No one will ever understand......